Where's the exit?

I am literally drowning in work and stress. Completely overwhelmed. I've been training my replacement for the last week, meanwhile I'm still fulfilling my regular duties with little to no access to a working computer. Today, the second new girl started. So I was training two new people, plus managing a short handed office, again with limited access to a usable computer. Needless to say, some things were overlooked and now my efforts to balance it all are beginning to seem futile. I feel like I'm trying to hold back a massive dam that is slowly crumbling around me, the bandaids I'm using to patch the holes are not working and pretty soon the whole thing is just going to come tumbling down.

I just want out.


A little while later....

I know things have gotten bad at work because I've started to listen to all the music I listened to while I was working on my thesis prospectus fall term of senior year - specifically Chris Bathgate and Iron and Wine. They may not sound too angry or depressing, but I can feel my mental state changing to something much quieter and reflective, but not in a meditative , calm way. Something darker, more stressed, subtly angry and frustrated. It's like I've experienced so much frustration in the past few weeks that I can no longer express it outwardly, instead I turn inward and let it simmer, quietly and intensely. There's also a certain anxiety attached to it, like I'm losing something. I think it's control, I'm losing control over the situation, details are slipping through my fingers and the more I attempt to control, the more I miss. Everything has turned into this wriggling mass...condensed and coiled, but writhing out of my grip.

Chris Bathgate - Serpentine from Bandstand Busking on Vimeo.