It's summer, which means Chris is never here. Work steals him away for days. Even when he stays in town, I hardly see him. He gets stuck in that warehouse and doesn't come out. I miss him terribly. His absence feels indefinite. What makes it worse is that when I finally do see him, he's exhausted. All he wants to do is get some rest (and rightfully so), but that means the time we do spend together is not always conscious. The apartment is empty and I eat my meals alone. It's quiet, and dark, and lonely.
It doesn't help that I don't really have any friends here. I am alone. Sometimes I think it will always be this way. When it really comes down to the truth of the matter, I will always be alone. No one ever stays.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
New Rules
I think I need to establish a few new rules, some are pretty superficial, some are more meaningful, but they all serve a purpose:
Rule 1: stop shopping at big box stores, shop at locally owned/vintage/consignment shops instead
Why: I spend way too much money at stores that don't source locally/aren't sustainable/generally feed into everything I claim to disagree with. Moving forward (except for items like underwear, shoes, etc) I will consciously choose to make my purchases from local vendors
Rule 2: Read one book a month
Why: I stopped reading frequently and I can feel my brain turning to mush. I need to keep myself informed, and challenged.
Rule 3: Go for more walks - spend more time outdoors.
Why: I'm getting fat. I'm not enjoying the outdoors enough - this sunshine isn't going to last forever.
Rule 4: Bring your lunch - make it yourself.
Why: Buying lunch everyday is expensive and no doubt contributing to my complain above. I need to eat healthier and more cheaply - making my own lunch can help with both of these.
Rule 5: Stay in touch.
Why: I don't talk to my family and friends enough - I don't know what is going on in their lives. I need to make more of an effort to stay in the loop.
Rule 6: Be more creative. Decorate the house with homemade art projects; take an art class.
Why: I need an outlet.
Rule 7: Have more sex.
Why: I haven't been feeling very sexy lately and haven't wanted to have sex very much. Sex shouldn't be a shore. Find a way to spice it up.
Rule 8: Go on more adventures....alone?
Why: I'm way too dependent on other people in order to get out and do stuff. I've never been one to do things on my own, especially if it involves going somewhere new. I need to break this habit and stop letting a lack of company keep me from exploring new things and places.
Rule 9: Buy meaningfully.
Why: I spend too much money on stupid meaningless crap I'm just going to get rid of eventually. I need to make sure my purchases are purposeful and long lasting. Stop buying cheap trendy clothes because I like them at the moment, and buy things I'm going to use for a long time.
Rule 10: Stop whining.
Why: My life doesn't suck by any means - I've got it good and I need to appreciate that more.
Rule 1: stop shopping at big box stores, shop at locally owned/vintage/consignment shops instead
Why: I spend way too much money at stores that don't source locally/aren't sustainable/generally feed into everything I claim to disagree with. Moving forward (except for items like underwear, shoes, etc) I will consciously choose to make my purchases from local vendors
Rule 2: Read one book a month
Why: I stopped reading frequently and I can feel my brain turning to mush. I need to keep myself informed, and challenged.
Rule 3: Go for more walks - spend more time outdoors.
Why: I'm getting fat. I'm not enjoying the outdoors enough - this sunshine isn't going to last forever.
Rule 4: Bring your lunch - make it yourself.
Why: Buying lunch everyday is expensive and no doubt contributing to my complain above. I need to eat healthier and more cheaply - making my own lunch can help with both of these.
Rule 5: Stay in touch.
Why: I don't talk to my family and friends enough - I don't know what is going on in their lives. I need to make more of an effort to stay in the loop.
Rule 6: Be more creative. Decorate the house with homemade art projects; take an art class.
Why: I need an outlet.
Rule 7: Have more sex.
Why: I haven't been feeling very sexy lately and haven't wanted to have sex very much. Sex shouldn't be a shore. Find a way to spice it up.
Rule 8: Go on more adventures....alone?
Why: I'm way too dependent on other people in order to get out and do stuff. I've never been one to do things on my own, especially if it involves going somewhere new. I need to break this habit and stop letting a lack of company keep me from exploring new things and places.
Rule 9: Buy meaningfully.
Why: I spend too much money on stupid meaningless crap I'm just going to get rid of eventually. I need to make sure my purchases are purposeful and long lasting. Stop buying cheap trendy clothes because I like them at the moment, and buy things I'm going to use for a long time.
Rule 10: Stop whining.
Why: My life doesn't suck by any means - I've got it good and I need to appreciate that more.
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